Okay, then. Give me a word that is as brief and easy and variable as ‘huff’ – a puff of breath – so I can use it instead. Everything I’ve tried is convoluted and complicated and ruins the flow of the damned sentences.
*throws hands up in the air in defeat*
[not literally, of course, jebuz, once you start getting all literal, you can’t write ANYTHING pretty. It all ends up short, terse, literal, boring sentences.]
…
(Clearly I have issues)
You don’t have issues. Those stupid writing advice columns have issues. I growl to myself every time somebody unleashes that stupid “You can’t describe how somebody says something as a hiss” argument, because I have done it. Hahaha, oh, try getting pissed off enough at somebody to order them out of your house, and see what quality the words possess when they come out of your mouth. You can even hiss the words “Get out”—if you’re angry enough, it works even with hard consonants!
I ought to record it sometime and post it as a demonstration.
So yeah, any time you see those, just snicker at them and move on with your life.