Chronically ill readers share unhelpful and hurtful comments made by others.
This is like if all my anonymous trolls put out a “Greatest Hits” album.
so many people don’t realize that what they’re saying isn’t okay
i’ve heard the religious ones way too many times
Yeah. Just… yeah.
(if I get ONE more fucking suggestion of “just losing weight” I am gonna punch a bitch… because I was twice as healthier when I was 40 lbs heavier than I am now, which is fucking HUGE. I bellydanced twice a week, 3 hours a night, could walk okay, etc.)
🙁 This is obnoxious. I have several people in my life, family and dear friends, who suffer from chronic illness, and it’s just… Look, I know that those of us who’re fortunate enough to be healthy can’t entirely understand what it’s like from the inside to have to struggle with a long-term disease that’s a periodic or even a daily presence in our lives, but I watch my loved ones have to manage their lives through the ups and around the downs. Even just imagining what it’s like for a person to be forced to live with pain on a regular basis (and I count depression and other mental illnesses in this, too, because those are pains and suffering of their own, just less visible from the outside)…it’s terrible, and it’s not fair, and we don’t say that, because it’s a juvenile thing to say, but it’s the truth that these “Pray harder” “Oh, you just need to lose weight” people are too cowardly to confront.
So pretty much what I want to say to everyone who has to go through this is:
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. You are so brave, and you are a hero of mine just for finding the will to get up every day and continue to move forward. I’m rooting for you to find strength every day, but it’s also okay to be weak when you need to. Please PLEASE let me know if there’s anything I can ever do for you to help take the weight off, if I can be a shoulder for you to lean on, or an ear to listen, or a distraction when you want to think about something else, or if I can give you words when you need to hear about how courageous and good and beautiful you are.
I mean it. Any of you, please don’t ever hesitate to drop a note in my ask box if you want to talk or complain (sometimes everybody needs to vent, and no it’s NOT a burden for me to listen; if I hurt in sympathy for you, then it’s because you’re a wonderful person and it’s a small way that I can acknowledge and share this with you), or forget about it for a little while, or anything.
What Those with Chronic Pain or Illness DON’T Want to Hear You Say