So last night I posted “Bonding,” in which John quips regarding how Mycroft reminds John of Lord Vetinari, and then the Lestrade/Sam Vimes comparison is made. Which pretty much instantaneously and inevitably began a crossover game in the comments.
Hahahaha! Anderson and Donovan are Fred and Nobby, obvs! Perhaps Molly as Lady Sybil, pre-marriage? I dunno. To be honest, my mind fails. It feels rather like shoehorning the rest of them. Though I think you could probably do a Disc version of Sherlock and John and make it work rather awesomely. (Can you imagine? Vetinari’s too-smart-for-anybody’s-good little brother who sticks his nose in things and solves crimes Vetinari would just as soon go unsolved for the sake of public peace?)
He’d keep popping up to solve burglaries and assassinations and stuff, repeatedly cheesing off the Guilds till Vetinari’s ready to hire somebody to strangle somebody. Like, Sherlock doesn’t even get asked to look into this stuff most of the time. He just gets bored and starts investigating crap.
Maybe he keeps turning up on Vimes’ pitch, offering unsolicited advice to the forensic alchemists, till Vimes is about this close to beating his ass. But then one day something goes hairy over at the Unseen University (really hairy, like maybe somebody sabotaged the Librarian or something) and Vimes is like, “FUCK YEAH SHERLOCK LEAVE ME ALONE AND GO INVESTIGATE THAT.”
Sherlock’s like WOOHOO THINGS NO SANE MAN SHOULD WANT TO GO NEAR, LEMME AT IT! And while he’s there investigating, he runs across this little soldier guy who’s, I dunno, there for experimental treatments on his leg that appears injured yet actually is not, or something (because being experimented on by wizards is more interesting than sitting in a bare flat in Ankh-Morpork getting the river’s stank up his nose). And of course John ends up following along and saving Sherlock’s life somewhere in the insanity.
Afterward, to show his gratitude, Vetinari turns up to have a word with John and is like, “BTW, it’s now your job to ride herd on my crazy brother.”
And John’s like, “Shit. Do I have to—I MEAN YES SIR YOU SCARY MOTHERFUCKER SIR. Don’t suppose you could put in a good word with Vimes…”
“There’s no such thing as a good word with Vimes.”
And John spends about two seconds contemplating debating whether to ask about salary, but Vetinari raises an eyebrow.
So John and Sherlock move in together at 221b on the Street of Bakers (which is misnumbered and should actually be 239 Street of Bakers, but what the hell, it’s not like most of Ankh-Morpork’s good at math anyway unless money’s involved). And from then on, Sherlock gets hired to consult on the really WEIRD cases that make everybody in the Watch run out to buy sausages from CMOT Dibbler just so they can come down with a convenient illness. (John pitches in to add that they’ll work FOR MONEY kthnx, we’re not a public service no matter what some eyebrow-waggling buggers might think.)