I just want Sherlock to realize belatedly what an asshole stunt he pulled, staying dead and haring off for two years, with festering piles of regret that he can’t go back and undo it.
While I agree with you about the consequences of his behaviour wouldn’t his grasping the enormity of what he had wrought be too far off character for Sherlock? He will be able to comprehend that people were hurt by his actions while still knowing it had to be done and done in the manner he chose. In his eyes he sacrifices everything for his friends, he knows of no other way to keep them safe and it genuinely does not occur to him that his death will be that large of a loss to them.
But see, all that I bolded? Fan-canon. We know he had to pull the rooftop stunt. But the idea that he had to STAY dead for two years is pure assumption.
It’s just as valid a reading to say that he got himself into this position in the first place because he wouldn’t tell anybody a goddamn thing. That he spent the entire episode lying to people and keeping them in the dark because in his head, it was all the big awesome showdown with his ~best enemy~ and he didn’t want anybody else interfering with his chance to prove he was the smartest and the coolest and the best. In which case, it’s Sherlock’s fault due to his ego as much as anything.
To clarify: I don’t want any sympathic ‘poor Sherlock, look what he was forced to do.’ I want it to be his fault because he’s a jerk, and for him to realize he was a jerk and regret it.
Yes, it’s juvenile and shallow and I’m a grown woman who should be deeper than this, but I don’t care. After two years, I get to have a stupid wish list if I want one.
I agree with this 100%, especially the part *I* bolded in PA’s reply. Even in terms of the “we know he had to pull the rooftop stunt”—yes, he did, but he sat in that room all night with John and there is no good reason that I have been able to buy that explains why he couldn’t have told John about the possibility of him faking his own death. He was obviously prepared for it. He knew it was a possibility. Why wouldn’t he tell him? Why? Honestly, I haven’t heard a good answer. Answers I have heard:
1- relying on a throwaway line in ACD canon that John wasn’t a good enough actor to keep his secret and would have given him away. Sure, ok, then tell John and tell him not to speak to the press and to leave town. Or fucking come with him. Why not?
2- he thought John would prevent him from going through with it. Ok, maybe he would have tried, but could Sherlock really not have said “YOU NEED TO TRUST ME IT’S THE ONLY WAY, BUT I’M GOING TO BE OK, TRUST ME?” Did John not always trust him? I don’t buy it. And even in the most extreme case of him REALLY think John wouldn’t let him do it, then leave a message for him to get the second it’s over saying, “btw I faked my death” with some kind of explanation.
3- snipers are watching John 24/7 and any *hint* of him knowing that Sherlock’s alive, or not grieving properly, or trying to find him would result in a bullet in his head. Really? I saw the sniper put his gun away the second Sherlock fell. And also, Moriarty’s dead. Who’s paying these snipers to watch John go to Tesco every day? They don’t exist.
Is there anything I haven’t covered?
I can still empathize with Sherlock even if this is a plight entirely of his own making, but he did NOT sacrifice everything for his friends. What did he sacrifice? He’s out having adventures (probably, if ACD canon is followed). He put his friends through hell. Especially John.
Ivyblossom maintains that in his ‘suicide note’ to John, Sherlock attempted to code in that what he was about do was a trick. The more times I hear that call, the more I suspect she may be right.
Which 1: would indeed make the ‘faking his death’ thing sympathetic. He didn’t want to have to do it, and he didn’t want to have to upset John by making him watch, but the situation was what it was. And it would mean that he wasn’t trying to lie to John here. That John could have known without blowing the lid off everything.
Which 2: would in turn make the moment at the cemetery so incredibly dickish. Because there John is, breaking down at Sherlock’s grave, and Sherlock is watching him in this private, suffering moment, and if Ivy’s right here, then what does he think?
He thinks, “Gosh, this is convenient.”
Which, I mean. I want to be clear here. I admire that level of assholism in a protagonist. The world is full of people of all shapes, sizes, colors and temperaments, and just because somebody’s a Good Guy doesn’t mean they’re a decent person. I personally hope to one day be able to write characters who can ascend to that plateau of asshattery.
I just don’t want him to get away with it.