I collected a bunch more points from replies, reblogs, and other posts. (Sherlock spoilers below cut)
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John says, when he asks Sherlock to be best man, “The two people I love most in the world.” And Sherlock says, when giving his speech, “The two people he loves most in the world.” So all THREE of them are recognizing the equality of John’s relationship with Sherlock and John’s relationship with his wife.
There’s this: http://joolabee.tumblr.com/post/72512235830 – an analysis of the drunken party game at the flat and what their body language is saying. Look at them by the end. And there’s the now often-asked question, WHAT WOULD’VE HAPPENED IF THE DOORBELL HADN’T RUNG?
And there is this: http://joolabee.tumblr.com/post/72511836583
And there is this: http://prettyarbitrary.tumblr.com/post/72408644300
Lilbasthet pointed out that John never protests his not-gayness this episode. No. He gets drunk—deliberately, he deliberately lowers his inhibitions—and what results is “I don’t mind” and the two of them practically lying on top of each other.
THEY FALL ASLEEP IN THE HALL. THEY SLEEP TOGETHER. TELL me that isn’t meant to suggest something else.
Sherlock and John apparently danced together—many times!—and as another reblogger pointed out, one of the show’s writers is also the man responsible for “The Doctor Dances,” where he has made no bones about how dancing’ is code for ‘sex’ in that episode.
And as lilbasthet also pointed out, we don’t see John and Mary’s wedding vows. We see Sherlock’s!
And John, how many times do I count John saying something along the lines of, “I’ll be there. Anytime you want me, I’ll be there?”
And of course all this is barely touching on the cinematography and body language yet. People who are more experienced than I at analyzing visual media have done some of that work.