NO YOU AREN’T. I MAY HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS OFTEN ENOUGH TO HAVE PLAYED AT THE PERFUME COUNTER AT MACY’S A COUPLE OF TIMES.
Oh man, I actually found the perfect cologne for Sherlock. I think it was Armani Code Ultimate. There was vanilla, and cedar, and I’m pretty sure I remember some kind of citrus, and some kind of spicy ripe scent.
In my head, by default Sherlock smells like bergamot, and probably leather. Have you ever smelled good leather or old wood that’s been polished with orange or grapefruit oil? Yeah. I bet he smells like that most of the time, with a cross-scent of chemicals or some kind of hand soap, depending on what he’s been working with recently.
But I can imagine an aromatic woody smell about him too, or a rich low scent of vanilla around him when he’s deliberately classing himself up.
John, now. I imagine John wearing something like English Leather or Burberry Brit. I bet he goes in for a kind of classic rugged-man thing. But you know what? It doesn’t really suit him. He walks around with this cologne on and people are like, “Ummm…” and they want to suggest something better for him but it’s hard to figure out how to do that politely.
What he should be wearing is something warm and spicy. John’s got a grounded, earthy nature to him that could really support scents that’d be too overdramatic on most people. Cinnamon, pepper, anise, ginger, frankincense. I have a little bottle of kyphi that would be so damn hot on him.
OR, though, I bet John could pull off the more voluptuous fruity and rich floral scents startlingly well. Vanilla’s kind of…eh, no. But, like, mango, heliotrope, clover…something rich and edible would suit him. Orange blossom and peach, anchored with something darker. Yeah.
Lestrade, now, he can pull off all the classic male scents: mint, pine, rosemary, leather, the fragrant woods (not all at once obviously). Slap some Drakkar Noir or Eau Sauvage on him, and even though those scents have been around long enough that some would find them dated, he’d remind people they’re classic. Ungh, can you imagine that lovely silver-stubbled jawline with Dolce & Gabbana’s The One drifting lickably around him?
Mycroft would undoubtedly wear something so expensively, understatedly sophisticated it’d make you want to beat your brains out against the wall. Like Lestrade, he could probably wear almost anything, but you can bet Mycroft would go for the sort of thing you don’t really notice unless you pay attention, but that just makes you instinctively defer to his obviously innate wealth, power, and class. Smooth, well-balanced, subtle, non-invasive. Something lighter, I think. He probably finds the bolder spicy, woodsy scents too flashy.
Although once in a while, when he wants to browbeat the point, he’ll go for something that smells like a very old, very well-kept manor house—old wood, leather, faint notes of tobacco and citrus, and a light rolling breeze coming in off the lawn.
As for the women, I think Molly probably likes simple sorts of perfumes. I can see her going for things like rose, jasmine, or lily of the valley.
Mrs. Hudson is almost certainly a perfume wearer. I bet she’s got good taste, but she’s a product of her time. I have this intuition that things tend to smell a bit powdery on her. She’d probably like it if a younger friend took her shopping for a new scent and got her to try out some of the more modern ones to find something she’d like.
Mary, I’m not sure about. I could see her going for something like Bvlgari Jasmine Noir, kind of jasmine and mysterious spicy woods. I would almost say I could imagine her wearing Obsession, but I think it would make her smell like a very expensive grandmother. Maybe something similar but more updated, though.
YES I’M NOT CRAZY! All of your perfume thoughts are so perfect I could cry.
I love your description of Sherlock’s scent. I picture him using a sharper, green, vetiver-y scent with a base of tobacco and wood. The first one I thought of was Comme De Garcons 2 because it has that sharp, woody quality and a hint of tea and ink. Armani Code Ultimate would totally be his seductive scent; he’d be able to wear spicy orientals and florals beautifully.
Funny, for John I immediately picked Burberry London but I found it just didn’t. fit. I can’t imagine him in anything smoky or musky. My head canon is that he smells like expensive soap, antiseptics, and tea, so maybe something like Bvlgari Eau Parfumee au The Blanc would be his skin scent.
Oh, yes, edible scents and florals on John would be delicious…He’s one of those people that can pull off something sensual and heady like tuberose without being drowned by it.
Yes, YEs, YES FOR YOUR LESTRADE PICKS. Drakkar Noir and Eau Sauvage are perfect. And the smoky warmth of D&G The One? You wouldn’t be the only one wanting to lick that 😉
Mycroft would undoubtably wear something outrageously expensive. I can picture him choosing a warm, sweet tobacco like Chergui. Probably only lightly sprayed though.
Now Moriarty’s cologne would be a jarring and loud mixture of fruit and musk. Something like Black XS L’Exces would be perfect on him. Plus, look at the bottle:
I think Mrs. Hudson would have liked Shalimar in her younger days, when she was still “dancing.” I have a feeling she’d smell like baked apples and cinnamon now, but she could still wear any classic perfume and be gorgeous in it.
I just sprayed some Jasmin Noir to remind myself of the scent, and I think you’re right about it suiting Mary. Very dark and feminine.
I think Nectarine Blossom and Honey by Jo Malone would suit Molly perfectly. It’s sweet and lovely but balanced.
Now what would Anthea wear??
Dammit, I knew I forgot people!
I can totally see that for Moriarty! Or something even more jarring—Nostalgia or Fahrenheit, maybe. He wears Westwood and wants to burn the world; he’s a punk in a $1000 suit. I can see him finding an appeal in smelling like a muscle car.
ANTHEA. Oh, I know this one. It’s been a while since I smelled it, but if I recall right: Yves St Laurent Opium.
But with her looks, sometimes she finds that wearing a perfume that doesn’t quite suit her helps keep people focused. So sometimes, Chanel No. 5. Nobody can accuse her of being anything but well-turned-out in it, but it doesn’t tell you anything about her as a person, either.
And I have a headcanon that sometimes, when she’s out for a night on the town, she’ll wear a man’s cologne. Something like Prada’s Amber Pour Homme—something that, on her, registers as dark, dangerous, and completely unconventional, with a hint of leather that makes people wonder just what they’re getting into here.
AHAHAHA SPEAKING OF WHAT SHE LIKES, I also forgot Irene! Damn, Irene. I dunno, there’s no question that she’s got a whole war chest of perfumes she chooses from in order to project the perfect image. But what does she wear on her days off?
I almost said, “Nothing,” but that doesn’t feel quite right to me. She gets too much joy out of controlling her own existence in the world.
So I think she wears roses.
But not any rose perfume on the market. The thing about roses is that it’s REALLY SURPRISINGLY HARD to mimic the true, unadulterated scent of simply sticking your nose into a rose and sniffing. I’m not sure a perfume like that actually exists. So I think she went and commissioned one, just for her.
She doesn’t even smell like she’s wearing perfume. It’s just as if, whenever you’re around her, you’re somehow invisibly standing in a room with bouquets of fresh-cut flowers.