I just. The pining!Sherlock thing just kinda drives me nuts. XD Because first of all, it’s predicated on the assumption that Sherlock and John have had/will have/should have a romantic relationship, Which, I mean, I can get behind that. But if you assume that, then you have to recognize that the reason they don’t have one is because Sherlock held up a “Not Interested” sign at the beginning, did nothing subsequently to indicate he was open to such a relationship, and finally fucked John over to the point of requiring therapy in an misguided attempt to impress him with a miraculous return from the dead after what turned out to be a totally unnecessary two years of abandoning him.
I get being able to identify with self-sabotage, and I definitely grasp the comfort of knowing that no matter how big a relationship fuck-up you are, at least you’ll never be that guy. But after bullshit on that scale, pining!Sherlock kind of needs to go hand-in-hand with a recognition that John would be fortunate if he managed to dodge that bullet.
The thing is, though, I don’t think he did dodge it. This isn’t “Oh, John never noticed, poor Sherlock.” It’s “John was totally invested in that relationship Sherlock never bothered to admit he was having, till his significant other committed suicide in front of him, and then he was forced to consider it over and figure out how to rebuild his life and move on.” Sherlock’s the one who left him behind.
And when Sherlock came back, took a look at John’s face and realized he’d already been having that relationship he’d finally gotten around to admitting he wanted sometime while he was away, he was also forced to recognize everything he’d thoughtlessly thrown away when he decided to bail out for two years and leave John wondering helplessly if there was anything he could have said or done or changed to keep Sherlock from dying.
I mean honestly. Tell me that reading doesn’t make everything make more sense, from the significance of Sherlock interrupting John’s marriage proposal right down to Mycroft’s facial expressions in the first and third episodes.