While I subscribe to the ‘Sherlock really loves John, no seriously, look at him’ newsletter, I can at least understand other interpretations of the show. I adore Sherlock Holmes and John Watson and there have been some incarnations that I have shipped and others that I haven’t, so I can see where some people would watch Sherlock and see two men who love one another and would die for each other, but are not romantically or sexually interested. (Though Sherlock certainly makes it difficult to read it as non-romantic, more so than any other version of the Sherlock Holmes I have watched or read, particularly after series 3.)
But I literally cannot figure how else we are supposed to look at HLV, specifically the final scene on the tarmac, as anything other than Sherlock being completely, woefully, in love with John. What are we supposed to think Sherlock was gathering his courage to say before he backed off with the joke about his name? I keep thinking about it. It comes across as being too intimate to be a moment just between two friends. It would be odd for Sherlock to completely back off in the manner he did (in the manner in which it was filmed and written) if he was gathering the courage to say ‘I love you because you are my best friend.’ TSoT did that. If there was any doubt in John’s mind about how important he is in Sherlock’s life, that best man’s speech dispelled it, so there was no real need to say how much he cared for John as his best friend because that is damn obvious at that point. And I can’t write it off as a moment where Sherlock was going to reveal something about the situation with Mary as he started by saying it was something he always wanted to say.
I don’t like to declare that something can be only read in one fashion, so I am curious if anyone else has considered how else to read the scene or if they have other theories beyond it being an aborted confession of love, because right now that is the only way I have been able to read it. I’ve only watched it with people in fandom, who are intensely involved in meta and fanfic. Has anyone watched it with someone who isn’t and heard their thoughts on the scene?
I haven’t been able to read it in any other way, either, but I’m going to be doing a watchalong in a few weeks with a friend who just started watching the show and isn’t into fandom at all, and I’m going to press for an opinion then.
Please let me know how that goes! I am always curious how people not involved directly in fandom read shows.
This is a great question I’ve been thinking about a lot.
At first I thought it would be something about how much he missed John while he was “dead” and how much he will miss him again, but you’re right—that’s not something he would have “always” wanted to say to him.
Then I thought of something along the lines of “you make me a better person” or “you made me realize I was not just alone, but lonely”; but then, he essentially says something similar again in the best man speech “you saved me … in so many ways.”
So the only other possibility I can think of is that he’s totally shamming. Pretending he has something to reveal, but he knows all along he’s going to make a joke out of it. I don’t think it’s a very persuasive reading based on BC’s performance, but it’s probably enough plausible deniability for Steven the-tears-on-the-rooftop-were-all-fake Moffat.
I agree that the only other possibility is that Sherlock was setting it up as a joke from the start. But who is the joke aimed at, aside from the audience (this is no sitcom)? The set up implies that Sherlock’s about to make a confession of love – which means John must recognise it as such to work and be expecting those to be the words that come next. So Sherlock is either making fun of John – playing off John wanting him to confess his love (unlikely, and I’m sure Sherlock thinks it’s unlikely given he’s just taken back Mary, and incredibly cruel as a last goodbye), or himself – playing to John’s perception that Sherlock is in love with him and turning it into a joke (mocking his own love or ridiculing the very suggestion?). Either way it comes back to Sherlock at least appearing to have romantic feelings for John (if they are real or not is open to interpretation – the evidence in HLV certainly points to the affirmative). Potentially even more tragic than if it was a sincere aborted confession – Sherlock thinks his feelings are worth mocking, he hides them as a joke.
I disagree. It’s absolutely possible. I don’t think Sherlock WAS going for a confession of love there. I think he was talking about gratitude. All the things having John in his life has done for him. All the things he’ll miss. All the things he knows John is also losing in this moment.
And that the reason he ends up making a joke rather than saying anything at all is because he knows John already knows it, and there are no words for it anyway.