OK, so my Museum of Sex and Censorship project hit some snags sexism and isn’t quite going as planned. BUT, my Parties Instructor program, the other major project I’ve been working on, I’m happy to say, has come to fruition precisely as I had hoped and envisioned when I set out on the mission. Sometimes, it is rainbows and orgasms.
I’ve been successfully doing in-home sex education parties for 8 years, and I recently scaled the endeavor to include other sexuality educators presenting the parties all over the country.
I spent months and months designing a program that would be lucrative for both me and the instructors, would help spread my mission of medically-accurate, social-justice focused sexuality education for grown-ups beyond what I could do as one person, and be a fun, fulfilling experience for the party guests, the instructor, and me (because I get to train the trainers, and that’s so fun!) I also spent months preparing the totally unsexy parts like the legal mumbo jumbo of a licensing agreement and writing a training manual. But finally in May, I launched the program, I fielded inquires from scores of interested people, ran two 10 hour training sessions (with another one scheduled in two weeks), and am so thrilled to see it all become real when the first instructor presented their first Female Orgasm 101 party!
She wrote the following about the experience, and it hit me hard how we are doing awesome work :
I am beyond excited about how it went. I gave the Female Orgasm 101 presentation to a group of my best friends. It was a mixed gender group of 3 men and 3 women, and included 2 couples. I was nervous about having mixed genders and couples there – I wasn’t sure how/if that would change the mood/comfort level and social dynamic. I was also nervous about how the content would be received, and if it would be fun.
The party blew my fears out of the water – the atmosphere/social dynamic worked well, everyone said they learned A TON and thought the info was super valuable, and it was a freaking blast. They were still talking about it days later!
I did have the script with me while I presented, but felt good about only having to reference it a few times, and mostly just for remembering what part came next. I felt comfortable in front of the audience, and improv -ed some things, like jokes from earlier in the day that were relevant, and incorporated jokes that were made during the party (for example, someone said the internal clit looked like an octopus, or “quadropus”, and that became a running joke. As did finding new names for Sex Dollars, like “twat treasures” and “pussy points” 🙂
I let the group ask questions all throughout the presentation, and we had a few good side convos and lots of participation.
Everyone loved Pin the Clit on the Vulva – a few of my friends saw the parts/board ahead of time and jokingly said something about Pin the Tail on the Donkey but I didn’t confirm/deny anything so that it would all be a surprise. When it came time for the game they were surprised it actually was that game and everyone thought it was hilarious.
In regard to First Orgasm stories, the men dominated the conversation. I pointed out how interesting it is that the men didn’t seem to have a problem with sharing their early masturbating days/ orgasm stories and the women did, even in our safe space. It was definitely an A-HA moment within an A-HA moment, and made for good discussion around societal norms regarding gender and masturbation and orgasm.
The most rewarding and powerful thing of the whole experience to me was that the party really seemed to get them all thinking about the topics, and left them wanting to talk about what they learned more after the presentation. Seeing lightbulbs go off was so awesome! I also loved how much genuine fun everyone seemed to have (including myself).
The inside jokes. The giggles. The games. Leading people through entertainment and hilarity, while being yourself entertained. Challenging and unpacking sociological sexual norms. Creating a comfortable safe space for self-disclosure and introspection about sensitive sexual topics. Watching the light-bulbs go off, facilitating a-ha moments, well timed profanity, leaving people thinking and talking about it for days, and the feeling of it being “rewarding” and “powerful”- it all is precisely the experience I have doing this work. It’s all exactly how I feel, and the high I get, connecting with people in their living room in such a unique way.
I am so stoked (SO STOKED) that the amazing sex ed party experiences I have has translated and replicated so well, and that Virginia and others can do and feel it too, and bring this program to bachelorette parties and birthday bashes all across the country. Even the photos she took of her first party, cheering on a party guest during Pin the Clit on the Vulva ™, reminds me so much of the pure joy I have on my face, when I do the same thing.
In business, I have all kinds of ideas. Some fall flat (ahem, museum). Some are so-so. And some soar, with the image in my brain becoming a solid reality, and that’s what is happening here! And I’m happy of all things, this is the thing, because the sexology parties are some of my proudest moments, and my life’s passion.
Other recently trained instructors like Lily and Lacey, both of Washington state, are building up their Facebook pages, and taking awesome head shots, like this one.
Ahhh I love it! Can you tell I’m ecstatic? I’m tap-dancing right now I’m so I’m so elated.
The purple spots on the map are areas where Female Orgasm 101 and Fellatio 101 parties are currently available, thanks to my new instructors. If where you live is in purple, email one of these folks about a party! If your area is missing an instructor, why not become one yourself? See if you’re qualified here, and sign up if you are! My goal is to have this whole map purple! WHOLE MAP PURPLE!
