This year will be my 39th Valentine’s Day; I will once again not have “someone special” to spend it with.
And, you know what? I’m fine with that. More than fine, in fact. Nobody can make me whole – certainly not another flawed person in this world of flawed people who are struggling with their own personal issues and demons. I need no human on this Earth to ‘complete’ me; I need no man or woman’s love to stamp me ‘worthy’. I am a wonderful person, a being worth knowing, a whole individual, even if I am not an island. I don’t need someone to ‘make me whole’ or whatever other drivel is sold to us on Valentine’s Day.
Would it be nice to have a partner – emotionally, psychologically, sexually? Yep, sure, it would! But I don’t need it. And neither do you.
You’ve seen those posts around – the ones titled “if you’re a 20 year old who’s never been kissed” and “if you’re lonely, never fear!” The kind that tell you that your other half is out there, looking for you, that you’ll find love – yes, you will – because you deserve it.
I’m here, twenty years after age 20, to tell you the truth: that, yes, you deserve love, but maybe you won’t find it – not the way you imagine, not the way the poets dreamed. To tell you that you’re not made as an incomplete half of a whole. To tell you that you’re a complete person without anyone else, and you are worthy whether or not someone else validates that, and you are a person with the right to exist whether or not someone finds you sexy or attractive.
Not ‘you complete me’ but ‘you are complete’.
You are whole. You are worthy. You are a person. You don’t have to be beautiful. You don’t have to be lovable. You don’t have to be productive or sexy or in a relationship or someone that people would miss if you died. Know why? BECAUSE YOU ARE COMPLETE.
Can I say this often enough? No. I don’t think I can. Because even here on Tumblr among women who know their own worth, we still reblog stuff like “You’re still cute/beautiful if…” Yes, I’m sure you are. But you know what, IT DOESN’T MATTER. You have the right to exist no matter what you look like or if someone finds you attractive. And the lie that you don’t – that you’re only worthy if you’re beautiful or if someone loves you or if people acknowledge you – is BULLSHIT.
If you remember nothing else this V-Day, please remember this.
You are complete. You have worth. You have the right to exist.
(Anyone who says different is trying to sell you something.)
from Tumblr http://ift.tt/1U14iDM