jukeboxhound:

lithe-cloud:

icynovas:

jukeboxhound:

so i just bought the damn villa and I NEED AN AVALANCHE HOUSE PARTY FIC, whether during- or post-game.  like, what do these assholes even do with their own sexy fuck-off villa?

  • cloud, nanaki, and vincent ending up having late night meetings at the kitchen table in the dark, drinking tea and sharing an existential silence
  • yuffie secretly loosening flagstones and tiles to hide the money she’s always stealing out of the others’ wallets (“WHERE IS MY MOTHER’S GOOD SILVERWARE” “haha it’s definitely not under the bathroom sink IT’S AN EMERGENCY FUND, GUYS”)
  • one day nanaki brings home a telescope and sets it up on the roof without so much as a by-your-leave (but no one minds)
  • how long can cloud get out of chores by saying “i’m the one who bought the fucking place”?
  • how long can nanaki get out of chores by saying “i don’t have opposable thumbs, so sad, i’ll be on the roof if you need me“?
  • everyone’s always nagging tifa and nanaki to clean their hair/fur out of the bathtub
  • barret and vincent turn the basement into a firearm repository and no one dares to ask any questions
  • some of cid’s engine parts still make it in there anyway
  • (they settle their territorial disputes with snark and alcohol)
  • who gets stuck sleeping on the couch because they make creepy noises in their sleep?
  • who always leaves the lights on? and who is always turning them off even if someone’s still in the room?
  • who argues that the salad dressing two years out of date isn’t that bad, “look, you can hardly see the mold on top”?
  • who leaves passive-aggressive notes everywhere?
  • (”the next time someone eats my sandwich i’m putting a boot up your ass I KNOW IT’S YOU VINCENT YOU BAG OF DICKS”)
  • who never replaces the toilet paper roll so when the next person uses the bathroom they’re like goddAMNIT

THIS FUCKING NEEDS TO EXIST

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque]

And CAIT SITH HAVING A PERMANENT PLACE ON A SHELF SOMEWHERE AND RANDOMLY COMING TO LIFE, FREAKING EVERYONE THE FUCK OUT. BECAUSE REEVE’S A SECRET DICK LIKE THAT.

that video is terrifying

  • in the coming months reeve develops four new types of body armor
  • (he doesn’t tell anyone it’s because cait sith keeps getting run through with various weapons and he’s getting tired of rebuilding his fave toys)
  • (although in retrospect maybe the “ventriloquist” setting wasn’t the best idea for a house of assassins, thieves, soldiers, and terrorists)
  • the first time tifa gets startled she punches cait sith in the throat, which breaks his voice box and makes him sound like he’s possessed by CHAOS
  • which gives everyone nightmares
  • and tifa forces everyone to watch are you afraid of the dark? that one kid’s show she used to watch on her father’s old tv with the shitty reception that somehow made it THAT MUCH WORSE
  • they expect cloud to become a paranoid wreck but apparently there’s a reason he was bff with zack that had nothing to do with their respective rural origins, and everyone learns to turn on all the lights before completely entering a room
  • (they swear a vow never to speak of the incident with the flashlight, music box, and a raw steak)
  • (yuffie makes a mint off a new line of halloween products)
  • nanaki had thought that his estimation of human intelligence had hit rock bottom but apparently it was a false bottom with a gaping abyss beneath it

from Tumblr http://ift.tt/29GEpck

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