you know that post that goes around talking about how alien life would be afraid of earth and its crazy oxygen breathing lifeforms?
I need to write a one-shot about Hal Jordan explaining to a young Superman that earth is actually an extremely gross hella toxic hell world for alot of other alien life forms out there. Sure,alien invasions are happening all the time, but no one wants this pathogenic shit hole. Nah.
“Okay,” Supes would say, “but if we’re such a lousy planet, why do we have like two Green Lanterns? How come so many threats end up out here?”
And Hal gets all cagey like “Look, man, don’t be mad but 99% of the reason bad dudes come to this planet is because its like space Australia. Lanterns think it’s funny to like… trick bad guys into coming out here so they either get wiped out by some mutated super virus or a tropical storm or something.”
Supes just like, “Lobo doesn’t seem like he’d be bothered by a storm.”
“Right, well, if the storms don’t get them, then the statistically improbable Kryptonian roided out on yellow sunlight certainly will…”
“Do not send dangerous criminals to Earth to fight me! And I am not ‘roided out’. Is that what you’re telling people?!”
“They never see it coming. It’s like intergalactic Thunder Dome.”
“Hal!”
from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2cvQaVZ