It’s interesting to watch women (mostly women, and almost all in fandom) twist themselves into knots to figure out why they like a particular type of smut/porn/erotica. Why do women like reading about/watching two men have sex? WHY, there must be A Reason??
Like, men who are into lesbian porn don’t do this, I’m about 1000% sure. Can you imagine? “But WHY do I enjoy watching two women? I’m not represented, they’re not even interested in me, why do I have this enormous erection??”
You like the smut you like because it gives you pants feelings. What gives you pants feelings in your media consumption can have zero to do with what gives you pants feelings in a partner or in real life.
We spend too much time feeling like we need to explain and justify our desires, to ourselves and to each other. Like we need to prove that our desires are valid and okay and morally correct.
I mean, okay, there’s a certain amount of academic interest in discussing cultural and societal trends and all, but at some point you just have to let go and have a wank over the thing that makes you want to have a wank.
Roane, I love you so much
I mean, okay, there’s a certain amount of academic interest in discussing cultural and societal trends and all, but at some point you just have to let go and have a wank over the thing that makes you want to have a wank.
This is true, and there is wisdom in it. But I don’t think it’s just about academic interest. At least some of it is about trying to sort out which stuff is actually you vs. which stuff is crap pumped in there via social conditioning. That kind of navel-gazing has helped me a lot over the years to get a handle on what’s going on in my own head. Identifying it doesn’t necessarily make the stuff I don’t want go away, but at least I know. And once I know, I can get some control over it, and protect myself from new crap coming in from that direction.
(There is always new crap. If anybody thinks the self-deprogramming over weight, beauty, femininity, blah blah problematic-pants is supposed to have a successful endpoint, maybe sometime in your 30s, 40s, 50s…? Well, I have bad news for you.)
But yeah, absolutely sometimes we just need to relax about it. Once it gets in your head, it’s part of you whether you like it or not, so you might as well enjoy it for what it’s worth.
from Tumblr http://ift.tt/1SoynNG