a-causidicus replied to your post “Anti-social life partners and how John’s kind of a dick too”

Yes. This. I think ACD John (who does exhibit kindness, compassion, etc.) tinges the perception people have of BBC John. Dickish John deviates pretty significantly from the canon I remember, though it’s been awhile

BBC John does exhibit kindness and compassion.  He doesn’t have the breathtaking disregard of other peoples’ feelings and dignity that Sherlock does.  For example, when he snapped at Sherlock for being too brutally honest with Molly about her gay boyfriend.  Or when he was worried about the lives of the bombing victims and distraught that Sherlock seemed to be having too little reaction to them.

But he’s also capable of being very self-absorbed, he’s a bit of a misogynist in, I think, a pretty typical modern male way, and he habitually makes the mistake of assuming that the surface appearance is the same as the truth.  Which is a very normal thing for people to do, and all too often leads to dismissing people without bothering to look deeper.  So he can be pretty shallow.

These actually are traits that ACD Watson exhibited strongly.  He was a good Victorian gentleman, much concerned with propriety, and Holmes was pretty much forever remonstrating with him over it.

What BBC John has…well, not ‘in addition to,’ considering how repressed the Victorians were.  But John’s got stoicism wound up so tight that the other way he is a dick is by NOT TALKING TO ANYBODY ABOUT ANYTHING IMPORTANT EVER.  Have an emotion?  Well Jesus don’t let it get out!  It might find another emotion and breed and infest the pantry!

He’s got his reasons, though, the poor fucked up little puppy.  That repression is the kind of behavior pattern you tend to learn along with ‘trust issues.’  So, like, he really ought to be visiting his therapist on a more regular basis.