– something lovely my therapist said (via jeanprouvair)

One of the responses I get when I tell people this is some variation of “No, this is a messed up thing for me to feel.” This is because they haven’t distinguished between feelings and beliefs; they may be feeling those feelings because their beliefs lead them to feel that way, and yeah, beliefs can be busted as hell. The feelings, however, are always valid. Even if they’re inconvenient, unpleasant, or threatening. For example, if you feel angry and sad and scared because you believe you’re a worthless pile of trash, that is a busted belief and needs to be gotten rid of. The feelings are still valid, though. 

(via hobbitdragon)

THIS THIS THIS THIS. You feel what you feel, and the more you fight feelings, the worse things will be in the long run. Feel what you feel, identify the beliefs, and move forward. I started to get SO MUCH BETTER when my last therapist got me to start doing this.

(via roane72)

Feelings are real.  Whether you like them or not, want them or not, whether you ‘should’ be having them or not, they exist.  Maybe the thing you’re having feelings about is a thing that should go away.  But that doesn’t mean you’re hurting or needing any less.

And it doesn’t mean other people hurt any less in response to you.  Whether you want them to or not, whether they ‘should’ or not, people feel what they feel. We have only limited control over it.  Accept and respect that, the way you respect hot stoves and long drops and big fucking rocks between you and where you want to go, and life will suddenly make a lot more sense.

What we do have control over—can gain control over—is what we choose to do in reaction and response to those feelings.