daelys asked prettyarbitrary:

I’m kind of late to the party, but I’m also one of the ‘lurker’ people who just follows a lot of the fandom blogs. I don’t talk much because I’m not sure what I would contribute? XD But I really enjoy your blog, for what that’s worth.

Pfff, no such thing as being late to the party when you’re making friends! ^_^

For everybody’s reference, this is a standing offer.  You guys can drop me a line anytime, if you ever feel like starting up a conversation or getting to know me better.

I know that feeling about not being sure what you can add.  Surrounded by all these amazing, eloquent, talented people, you get to wondering what you could possibly have to offer that wouldn’t just be making noise in comparison.  ^_^  Yep, I feel it too.  I just talk anyway because…I’m not very good at shutting up. 

Actually I think I talk because I’ve always had a problem with being shushed or dismissed.  I feel like I got a lot of that growing up, so I’m kind of sensitive about it.  It really rubs me the wrong way.  So I put my opinions out there.  You don’t have to like ‘em or agree with them, but for me, sitting in silence is like complying with the people who want to censor or silence me.

I don’t know…  Looking back, I’m not sure where I feel like I was shushed so much.  My family listened to me.  My friends listened (mostly, except for a few people who in retrospect I’m not sure why I thought they were friends).  Maybe it was school, having to sit there for hours every day while teachers lectured?  Or maybe the reality is that I self-censored.  I was a shy, isolated kid.  I felt like the things I had to offer, other kids wouldn’t want—and a lot of times they didn’t, when I did try, so I stopped. 

So yeah, that’s probably the truth of it.  And I hated it—I hated feeling like I was being told to sit down and shut up, to squish myself into ever-smaller boxes so that other people wouldn’t be inconvenienced by having to notice me.  It occurred to me that that was a very selfish thing for them to want.  Even if people don’t like my presence, my being there isn’t doing any damage to anybody.

And that is the story of how I turned off the “but nobody cares what I think” voice in my head.  I tell it, “I don’t actually care, because I feel like saying it.” ^_^

Like now, for example.  I, uh, don’t really know where I was going with all that.  But I guess, talk if you want to!  Or don’t if you don’t want to. 🙂  But I hope that you don’t not talk because you think other people don’t want you to.  Because frankly if it would somehow ruin their day for you to have an opinion, they’re jerks who deserve to have their day ruined.

BUT I have to say you have an AWESOME blog.  I feel like you don’t need to add that much, because the things you reblog speak for you.  It’s an eloquence of its own, and one I really admire—like blackout poetry or really good collage art—to be able to draw a self-portrait through ‘found’ materials.